You Have to Turn the Pencil as You Sharpen

Today Zoe told me that she knew the “trick” to electric pencil sharpeners – that you have to turn the pencil as you sharpen. You can’t just poke your pencil in and expect a decent result. “I know that trick, too,” I said, and Zoe laughed like it was no big deal. I know that she is secretly planning my demise because she can’t stand it when someone knows her tricks. She is sure to botch my demising, however, for I am undemisable. I will go on mising for decades, using her electric pencil sharpener trick as I laugh all the way to the bank, pencil shavings and superfluous benjamins fluttering in the breeze behind me.