Word From the Front

I received word from Zoe. She was kind enough to forward me a list of what she's consumed. Somehow, it's not enough. Why isn't she eating more? Does she want to waste away? And more importantly, does she want me to waste away? And why did she eat celery? Doesn't she know that she can get that here?

dairylea on bread
ratatouille (sp?)
half pint budweiser
victorian sponge cake
greek yogurt
satsumas
banana
broccoli
celery
cranberry, brie, and lettuce wrap
peking ribs crisps
smokey bacon and stilton crisps
mince pie
toffee bakewell
lots of coffee
wine gums
fruit gums

I am concerned that "Toffee Bakewell" is not plural. Typo? Really, just one? America has the boringest chips on the planet. Nacho. Chili cheese. Au Gratin. Onion 'n chive. Dill Pickle. Barbecue. Kiss my ass, Frito Lay! Get on the ball! PEKING RIBS, BROTHER!