Update: I changed my desktop wallpaper from Scenic Countryside to Jason Bateman. Now that I’m running the office, I think it’s important that folks know which celebrities I support. I know what you’re thinking: “But he doesn’t have an upper lip!” You’re wrong, woman. It’s there. It’s no Angelina Jolie lip, that’s for sure. She’s a freak. But the lip is there.
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Today you missed the office power outage. I read the beginning of The Heart of Darkness because it’s the only book in the office. How’s England? Are you wearing your top hat? Do you clap your ‘ands when you see all the farm animals wearing clothes and driving cars? They don't wear clothes here! Have you said “cheers” instead of goodbye? When in Rome, eh?! Remember my homemade Iain Duncan Smith traveling mug?
HR just gave us candy. I won't be saving you any. You know me.
Best,
EWP
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