Tuesday, December 30, 2008
Tiny Person
Zoe saw The Curious Case of Benjamin Button last weekend. “I just don’t know how they got Brad Pitt’s face on that tiny person,” she told me. I had no response, because I didn’t see the movie and I don’t know how Brad Pitt’s face gets on tiny people, or, once on, how or if it is later removed. Once you get Brad Pitt’s face, there may be no turning back. You may have Brad Pitt’s face forever. How am I to know? Can anyone know? Is such knowledge knowable? Anyway, I don’t think she liked the movie very much, probably because it triggered this heavy epistemological celebrity-faced tiny-person-related crisis. Or maybe Steve didn’t properly saturate the popcorn with industrial butter-flavored oil derivative. I just don’t know.
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
1 comment:
Zoe is rather late to this game, I'm afraid. Many concerned citizens have for years been puzzling the mystery of how Brad Pitt gets his face anywhere, let alone onto the cover of GQ and simultaneously all over the pneumatic exteriors of Jennifer Aniston and Angelica J-Lo or Jello or whatever her name is. I for one cannot see the appeal of beetling neanderthaler brows over the unshaven jaw of an Iron Man who's just gotten divorced and really let himself go. Especially as from the neck down he has the form and stature of Mini-Me and dare not go shopping in Toys-R-Us for fear of being mistaken for one of his own bobble-head dolls. I dare say I should be grateful for my immunity to his mutant-toddler charms.
But there we are. The ways of Hollywood's squabbling pantheon of tinsel gods are beyond the ken of mere mortals, particularly where the congenitally schtumpig are concerned. Macaulay Culkin was past forty and smelt like a brewery when he made the Home Alone movies, and he still went on to land prime roles like Gimli in Lord of the Rings. His trailer was three times the size of Orlando Bloom's, and it had a jacuzzi. Also missing floorboards, greased ramps, electrified doorknobs and Gucci flamethrowers rigged to the light fixtures. You can't tell me that's fair...
Post a Comment