I Don’t Give Rat’s Nads about Zoe’s Primate

Zoë has a monkey thing on her wallpaper and she keeps telling me, “Come look at my primate,” and “Hey, come look at my primate,” and “Why don’t you ever come over here and look at my primate?” Pffft. I have better things to do than look at Zoë’s primate. And whenever I give in and look at Zoë’s primate, Zoë says “Look at his mouth and chin! Look at the mouth and chin! Look how cute it is!” Christ Almighty, stop harassing me with that tedious primate already. I’m about to call security.