Zoe Is Wrong About Zoe's O's Cereal

Someone gave Zoe a box of Zoe's O's Cinnamon Cereal. It's full of dangerous chemicals. For example, it includes omega-3 fatty acids. As far as acid goes, Omega-3 is a waste of time and will not trigger magnificent visions. For all I know it may even give you a prolapsed anus. Zoe's O's also has ground flaxseed in it - and ground flaxseed, you may remember, is what made Manuel Noriega go bad. Before ground flaxseed, Noriega was a simple librarian who loved pigeons and other living things. After ground flaxseed, his complexion went into the crapper and he wanted everyone terrified and miserable, though not necessarily in that order.

But Zoe wasn't worried about the hazardous additives in Zoe's O's cereal - oh, no - she merely thought that Zoe's O's tasted bad. So I gave it try. She was wrong. It doesn't taste bad, but that doesn't matter. I'm not going to eat it again because I fear the side effects listed above.