Zippers Go Up the Middle

Today Zoe is wearing a red zip sweater. I've noticed that the sweater zipper is three inches to the right of where it should be. It is ok to demand competent zipper placement, Zoe. Zippers go up the middle. Zippers have gone up the middle since the dawn of time. Maybe you could return your side-zip sweater and get yourself a hammock. Hammocks mean relaxation! Also, please get me a hammock. I need the kind that has it's own base because my trees are too far apart.