Too Late, Party People

Zoe brought me cupcakes and donuts for my birthday yesterday. Yes, MY birthday. If you forgot my birthday, I feel sorry for you. You are only hurting yourself. Also, you are hurting me. Also, you are hurting the Birthday Industry. You didn't even buy me a gag gift. You didn't even buy me a real gift. Unless you bought me a gift and are holding on to it until I buy you a gift of equal or greater value.