Give Zoe Her Due

At work, Zoe is like the elephant who gets groped by blind guys. Every blind guy touches a different part of Elephant Zoe and comes up with his own conclusion: Zoe fixes keyboards, Zoe fixes member records, Zoe does accounting things, Zoe shoots bad-check writers, Zoe fixes email, Zoe labors in the salt mines, Zoe completes the outlier tasks, Zoe cracks code, Zoe codes cracks, Zoe cracks corn, Zoe flies in the face of decorum and good taste, etc. None of the blind guys stop groping long enough to say, “Wait, this is Zoe, a concrete and cohesive unit. She is not just a trunk or a tail or a leg or a bristle. She is an elephant.” See? I am here to slap away the groping hands and say, “Peoples, Zoe is an elephant.” I have been saying this for two years now; every time I repeat it, people just stare at me like I’m skipping in place, playing air harmonica. Like that would be weird, playing air harmonica.