Zoe Needs To Assert Dominion Over Her Pod

When I told Zoe that Saturdays go faster when she isn’t in the office, she seemed stricken with grief, as if accelerating our office experience was her one true calling. She pouted and sighed a great deal. Finally she cried, “Well maybe I shouldn’t work on Saturdays then! Maybe I should work Mondays!” She was so pouty-faced that I almost slapped her with my flip-style sorter.

“I don’t fit in anymore,” Zoe said later. Fit in to what? Are you speaking in tongues? Fit in to what? Our elaborate office hierarchy? Because you do fit into that, Zoe. You are eight rungs above me and one rung below Annette. But actually, we are not using the rung system any longer. We now use the Floating Pod Office Hierarchy Superstructure. I suppose it is possible that Zoe does not fit into this particular structure in a way that is pleasing to her. Her pod seems to float with a jerky side-to-side motion, whereas I studied the manual and learned how to steer my pod with grace and extreme scootiness. Just read the manual, Zoe. Don’t let your pod make your decisions for you.